The year: 2023.

The location: The beach, a one-mile walk from the cottage.

The situation: One toddler. One stinky diaper. One heavily pregnant mom with no diaper bag.

The audience: No one, hopefully. Although the dog who walked by us later definitely gave me a weird look.

The resolution: Dumpster located. Diaper emptied. Napkins applied to inside of diaper. Diaper reattached to toddler.

So. Yeah.

If you are a toddler mom, you know that unhinged measures sometimes have to be taken. I’ve never been the best at being prepared, but even the most prepared mom will eventually be surprised with a challenge that requires quick thinking with a small dash of humiliation. It just happens.

Occasionally we will find ourselves in seasons where it seems like we run into challenge after challenge, never being quite prepared for what comes next.

I think that’s the nature of motherhood—our kids grow so quickly, and our ability to understand and meet their needs when a new season begins always seems to be just a step behind. We have to grow right alongside our kids, and that takes time.

I know I’m not alone in feeling like I’m drowning sometimes. We all go through seasons in the trenches.

Maybe you’re in one of those stretches of time where you’re heavily feeling the pressure and demands of motherhood. The baby is teething, your kids have the flu, the toddler just started screaming every time you get in the car. Or maybe the circumstances around you are making showing up for your kids extra difficult right now. You’re grieving a loss. Your husband is away for the week. You just moved and no one knows which way is up.

These are seasons where our physical, emotional and mental energy is very limited and constantly under demand. Unfortunately, the timely discovery of a dumpster by a beach entrance is not going to fix whatever problem we’re facing.

So let’s just get unhinged for a minute.

In the seasons where it is really difficult to meet everyone’s needs, we can use all the extra energy we can get. But the usual ways to replenish our energy might not be available to us. In order to build ourselves back up so we can show up the way we want to, we might have to think outside the box.

So here are some slightly weird ways to expand your capacity in challenging seasons.

1. Listen to the Bible while you take a shower.

Or literally, while you go to the bathroom. If your house feels like crazy town, then any door closed behind you can create three minutes of quiet that you can turn into a sanctuary. Any moment of stillness is a time that you can take a deep breath, bring your thoughts to the Lord through prayer and hear His answer of peace and truth in His Word. Obviously, He’ll hear your prayers even if the noise in your house is turned up to 11—but it might be easier to you to hear the voice of your audio Bible if you’re in the bathroom.

2. Make dinner after breakfast.

My mother-in-law taught me this one! Dinnertime, especially in more demanding seasons, is generally a time of war and chaos. We all get hangry at 4:30pm. If you have a moment earlier in the day where everyone happens to be playing on their own or napping, chop all the veggies, defrost the meat, or completely make the meal you’ll have for dinner. Stick whatever you made or prepped in the fridge and it’ll take some of the pressure off of a time of day that is naturally chaotic.

3. Ignore the mess.

You heard me. We are not cleaning as we go; we are pretending to be blind. Crumbly mess under the kitchen table? Don’t know her. The laundry pile that is calling you lazy will be much quieter if you shove it in the closet. The dishes can wait—or actually, just use paper plates for one day. I am someone who is very impacted by my environment and a messy house usually causes me stress. However, sometimes there are simply more important things to think about. If you have appointments you can’t miss, little hearts that need extra mama time, or you just need to intentionally rest your body, put your blinders on and just let the mess be for one single day. It’ll be fine, I promise.

4. Say no to coffee.

Oof, I am sorry about this one. When I am completely exhausted as I start the day, I usually head straight for my espresso maker. But on busy mornings, sometimes I don’t end up eating breakfast until 10 or 11am. That means the caffeine I consume has several hours to wreak havoc on the stress hormones that are already naturally rising to help my body wake up. My blood sugar plummets, my cortisol goes nuts and every little squawk from the children running around my feet sounds like a screeching fire alarm to my body’s stress response. When I notice that I am more stressed than usual and I make myself wait on my morning coffee that I dearly love until after I’ve eaten something with protein, the difference I feel is pretty crazy. Sorry, sorry sorry if you also treasure your morning coffee. I do hate this hack but it does work.

5. Get kids ready for the day in the car.

I have three little kids. I swear something about the phrase “we need to leave in ten minutes” has a chemical effect on them that makes them repel away from me. We’ve come a long way with learning how to get ourselves ready to go for the day, but that is always a stressful transition if any other factor has gone wrong or we’re running late. Enter: car salon. Grab clean clothes and shoes and buckle barefoot kids into their car seats in their pajamas, way earlier than you need to. Turn on a Disney soundtrack and transform yourself into the makeover princess while you crawl to the backseat to wash their faces and brush their hair. Leave with a couple minutes to spare, then change kids into their daytime outfits and shoes before you get out of the car when you get where you need to go. Something about the weirdness of this is really fun for my kids and just breaks the script a bit on something that can cause lots of toddler turmoil.

6. Pretend you can pause time.

Where you feel your adrenaline ramping up, pretend you can pause the moment. Notice something beautiful about where you’re standing or something you love about the child you’re holding. Gratitude doesn’t always need to look like a journaling session or a smile that can’t help but fill your face. It’s an intentional choice. Just a thank you, breathed right in the middle of a stressful moment, is an act of worship and obedience and balm to your scrambled heart.

The Creating Joy course was designed to help you troubleshoot areas of your day that consistently cause stress. I wrote each workbook page and filmed each video with the intention of refreshing your heart and helping you change some of the things you feel discouraged about. The content is easy to use, even if you’re in the trenches—that’s kind of the whole point. It’s designed just for you, and I would love to spend time with you there.

Hang in there, friend. Don’t be afraid of doing weird stuff to get through this season. The Lord is working within you and nurturing you as you nurture your babies. He is your Helper, no matter what today looks like.

He has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” - Hebrews 13:5b-6

Posted by Megan

Hey there, I’m Megan! You can usually find me dreaming up a new project with my husband, trying to figure out homeschool with my two girls while my little boy explores the pots and pans cabinet, or excavating a pile of laundry with coffee in my hand. We live in New England and our dog is named Moose.

Connect: @lilac.and.sparrow

Slightly unhinged ways to expand your capacity in challenging seasons